My sister Kelly and I are 15 months apart. 1 day when I was 7 and she was 6 I had this brilliant idea to put her on my shoulders. I’m not very strong so after she got on my shoulders I used this stick hand over hand to stand up. (The stick gave me slivers which did not help the situation) Once I was standing for a minute with her on my shoulders I realized I wasn’t strong enough to walk or even to continue carrying her. I didn’t think I could squat down without falling and hurting her. Our yard was very long and we were at the back. Also no one else was outside. So I started yelling at the top of my lungs.

Crying and yelling.

 Legs shaking from exhaustion

Tears streaming down my face

Terrified I would drop my sister and hurt her.

I soon realized help would not get there before my legs gave out. ( I was not that tall at 7 but in my mind it was a huge drop)

Despite trembling legs I found the strength to lower my sister to the ground.

These situations can go 2 ways in our lives.

I could beat myself up and talk about how stupid I was and even use that same language when I tell it now at 51.

Or I can say that even though I made a serious misjudgement. I learned from it. I found the strength inside myself to fix my problem.

I think we know which perspective would better benefit me. Are there times in your life that you look back on and still cringe? That you see yourself and give harsh judgment? And that harsh judgment has changed your life and perspective of yourself?

I think we all can relate. But we do not have to continue to be ruled by those judgments handed down to us from ourselves and others. As we look back with an older perspective and remember our age and knowledge at the time. We can be gentler, more loving, showing mercy to our younger selves who even if we knew better, we can’t always control the consequences of our actions, but we can control the way we think about them.

So how about we take that 20 year old, 9 year old, 32 year old out of the jail of self persecution and create a new story with the facts of the situation. A new way of looking at it that better serves us.

In this story I’m a hero! I found I could do what I thought I couldn’t! A person my sister can always count on to love and protect her the best that I know how.